I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
