i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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