How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
