beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
