I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
