I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
