Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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