That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
seriously i just wanna be friends
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me