carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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