he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
