I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
