I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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