whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
