I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
