ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
