pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
