so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
