At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
