Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Your cock deserves a montage
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
