is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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