He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dick has a subreddit
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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