i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
