So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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