She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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