still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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