I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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