I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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