If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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