he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
