Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
