i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
