Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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