Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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