Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
