is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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