i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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