i permit you to call me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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