So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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