Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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