I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
