Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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