Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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