Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My liver just broke up with me...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
