just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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