1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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