That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
