Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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