The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
