It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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