Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
