I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
