i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize