I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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