i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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