yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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