kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
