And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
