my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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