my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
