Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
