why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He better not be in your backpack
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
