I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
