If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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