I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
