We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
MIDGETS
????
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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