I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
