Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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