Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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